| | Well, there are cobwebs where candles once stood and the coffee beans have long gone stale. Ick. There is nothing worse-worse-worse- than bad coffee.
But, summer lends itself to longer days and about an inch more of free time.
So, here I am.
And here we are...staring out the window, clickety-clacking on the keys and humming Iron & Wine.
So much has happened. Come to think of it- what HASN'T happened in the last three months?
All my news? I am getting married in about 23 days. Carmen and I are moving out of Maple Street which is sad and exciting all at the same time.
TGY and I bought a house. I never, ever, ever thought I'd want a house this soon. I wanted a tiny, cramped, historic, urban space with lots of stairs, Russian neighbors, a breakfast nook and an old crotchety land lady. You know, the kinds of places you see in movies.
This is a newly remodeled brick ranch with an old oak tree in the yard and a red front door. It is funny how God works things out. I ask for six, he gives me seven. I wanted a husband. I got a husband AND a teeny tiny dog. We wanted an apartment. He gave us a house. Yowza.
In other news, I ended up Dumpster Diving just to get moving boxes. One of those activities that leaves me thinking, "I am too pretty to be doing this." Haha...I am totally kidding. Well, kind of. :)
And now, for The Biggest Paragraph Ever
To celebrate the end of my sister's Master's program and to take one last "family" vacation before the wedding, my parents and my sister and I took a trip out to a resort in Phoenix. To anyone thinking of taking a pre-wedding-family-style-honeymoon, I highly recommend it. It turned me back into a normal person. I haven't cried in like, 8 days which is a new record since like, April...haha.
Stress.
Anyway, while I was on the plane, I just kept thinking about how much I love to travel. I looked at all the brown and green and tan patches of earth and thought to myself, "this never gets old."
And I hope marriage is a lot like that. I hope in 50 years I am still able to look at Him with awe and wonder at how we managed to build a family and a life together and make it all work. I hope I am still able to look at Him with wonder and awe at how he still manages to love me- cause I know he still will.
And, being in love with Jesus is a lot like that, too which is also kind of cool.
While I was away, I took a snack break with my mom in the room because, let's face it, it is possible to stay in the sun for too long.
Of course, we watched Oprah. There was this gorgeous girl on stage (Kris Carr) who has cancer, and she was amazing. She made a documentary called Crazy Sexy Cancer and She talked about how cancer has been her "guru." It has shown her how to live and now she spends her life trying to make peace with it- just living in "The Now."
And she blew me away.
And I started thinking about how one spring, I got hit by something fast and heavy while crossing the street and I felt like Kris Carr for a long time and then I just...stopped.
I got busy. I got engaged. and somehow I thought that all earned me the right to stop living and start complaining.
So, I bitch. I hate using that word, but there really is no other word to describe it (Carmen, Heather, my mother and Tim can all attest to that).
I have the opportunity to further my education through a Master's program- as a teacher, I- of all people should understand and appreciate the value of gaining more knowledge. It is not a right. It is a privilege. But I don't value it. I abuse it. I cry. I get stressed and I worry and I cry about the papers and the quizzes and the posts.
One day, I sat in church next to a boy who is gentle and handsome and loves Jesus and makes me laugh and one winter, he asked if he could sort of kind of love me forever and I said, "yes."
But I don't enjoy it as much as I should. I bitch. I get busy and stressed and I bitch about everything from the timing of the music to the price of linen table cloths.
My parents offer to pay part of a week-long vacation. We finalize an offer on a house and I stand the middle of my room with a half-empty suitcase and home loan paperwork and I scream at Carmen about how, "it's all too much!"
So anyway, enough of that for now. If I had a tiny leaf here, I would turn it over as a symbol of a life with a lot more living and much less grumbling.
I need to put my money where my mouth is and take my Bald and Handsome Husband to Europe. I need to spring for the teeny-tiny-back-tattoo. I need to write that book that keeps tapping my shoulder like a pesky little brother. I need to fish or cut bait.
So, here's to us. Find something you've always wanted to do, and do it.
I'll cheat and say first on the list is "Get Married." :)
"Don't complain. Just work harder." - Randy Pausch
Love, H.
PS. The walls are bare.
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| | Posted 6/19/2008 7:05 PM - 62 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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